I’ve been reflecting lately about this past season and really my fitness journey thus far. I’m now in an entirely different phase, I finally accomplished a goal I set out to complete so long ago, and now it feels a little strange. I haven’t quite landed yet on a goal to laser in on and chase, so it just feels a little odd. I’m certainly not wandering or feeling lost, as I still am going through things as I normally would and have improvements to make etc. It just does feel somewhat odd and surreal to not have that ONE BIG goal that my eyes are set on.

I’m taking my time reverse dieting so that my health is on par, keeping my long-term health and love of fitness in mind and looking forward to a little more balance in the coming months. I’ve mentally had my focus on prep for 2 years so mentally it’s just so strange to not be in a prep mode. I kind of don’t know what to do with myself as far as goals and mental focus goes! Haha!

I have some pondering to do as I reverse, grow and balance. I just was asked today even when my next competition is and I said I wasn’t sure yet. I imagine 2017, but I don’t have any in mind or any dates set. I only know I would like to continue to re-qualify for nationals, and do 2-3 shows close together. I don’t have specific ones in mind, I don’t know dates. And heck, all of those things I just said I may feel different about in 4 months! :)

Anyway, on to the point of this post: as I have been reflecting, one word keeps coming to mind. Resilient.

I think if someone could describe me in one word after my time on earth is done, I would want it to be resilient.

I know I haven’t had the hardest life, when you look at the tragedies and injustices people face every day, comparatively I have life easy! But when I look back over the years and the things I have walked through, endured and learned from I wonder how I am still standing and have a positive outlook on life.

I am 27 and yet I know I have overcome things people twice my age haven’t endured. I haven’t let the challenges, defeat, discouragement, depression, tears, despair etc keep me from rising strong. Things didn’t always go as I planned, but they have all turned out for the better.

My fitness journey for instance has been one of determination and resilience. I started with my first gym membership walking in with immense fear. It was entirely new territory for me! I knew myself well enough to know I am competitive and serious. I refuse to quit. So I committed myself to 3 days a week. 

Little did I know I would fall in love with fitness and transform every aspect of my life! I had never heard of the NPC or the bikini division. I would have laughed if you told me I would compete and be nationally qualified!

I chased this dream for YEARS! I never gave up. I failed, I fell down. But I always got back up and kept going! Even if it was slow!!!

Then just this prep I had a lot of body fat to lose. I endured surgery on my foot with a few weeks of zero cardio and lower body work. (The scar still feels like a pebble in my shoe when running!) I endured a terrible sinus infection which had me recovering for 9 days out of the gym and on antibiotics. I sucked it up on meal plans for a bit while eating fish every day (and I absolutely HATE fish!) 

I didn’t sail through. I worked my ass off to get to the stage. I had some moments of tears on the treadmill or hanger tantrums. But I kept the course. I wanted it and I did everything in my control to get there.

I look at who I am, what I want in life and how I am wired, and I can’t help but feel the word resilient is what I hope to be known as.

I don’t say this to flaunt or gloat or for pity. I say this because I think we all should have a word we want to have be what people think of when they think of us. A descriptive word that we sort of live our lives by. I want to be intentional to pursue resiliency in all areas of my life.

Perhaps that will be a word I end up tattooing somewhere…..



I’m Reverse Dieting!

Fitness, Lifestyle

If you didn’t know already, I chose to not participate in the two competitions I had planned on in October, and instead begin reverse dieting. I’ll touch base on why I chose not to compete this fall, and also what reverse dieting is and how its going.

Less than 5 Weeks Out

Fitness, Posts

I just passed the 5 weeks out mark for my first competition! It’s both exciting and terrifying all at the same time. For the past 3 or 4 weeks I have been on a meal plan, which is entirely new for me as I have always done IIFYM. I was sick at the beginning so it was really challenging at first. I actually sat at the table one day in the first week and cried. Now, it’s easier, and more of just an everyday thing.

This Prep is Different


Some of you may know that I changed coaches this year. I was looking for someone who would be relational, empathetic, transparent, supportive, encouraging and just there for me. (In addition to the obvious knowledge, skill, results etc.) I found an incredible coach and I couldn’t be happier!

Improvement Season


It’s been a while since I’ve written. I haven’t really been in the right mindset to write or share, but I think its important to be open and candid. I have entered my improvement season a bit earlier than I had hoped or anticipated. While I had setbacks in August, I ended up getting really sick for the month of September. I came down with the flu which turned into a bad sinus infection. I was essentially out of the gym for the month minus a few workouts, and my diet was pretty awful. The antibiotics I was put on were miserable. I experienced just about every single side effect listed. Everything in me just wanted life to return to normal. My normal workouts, normal eating, normal health.

Low Carb Veggie Protein Pancake


You may have seen some of my previous pancake recipes on here and noticed that I don’t seem to be eating them lately. Well, here is why: I am cutting. That means that in order to burn bodyfat, I have lower carbs and lower fats in my overall diet. So, sadly, my high carb and high protein pancakes had to go. I still freaking LOVE pancakes, and couldn’t stand the thought of not having a protein pancake every morning! So I created a lower carb version that is packed full of awesome micronutrients!

Living Fit // Struggles Lately

Fitness, Lifestyle

I knew this day would come. The day where I fell flat on my face. In fact, it wasn’t just one day. It was a weekend. I had a breakdown and I didn’t know how to stop it. I felt like a kid getting caught stuffing cake in their mouth with frosting all over their face. That feeling of shame, guilt, disappointment, frustration and just exhaustion. It happened.