I’ve been reflecting lately about this past season and really my fitness journey thus far. I’m now in an entirely different phase, I finally accomplished a goal I set out to complete so long ago, and now it feels a little strange. I haven’t quite landed yet on a goal to laser in on and chase, so it just feels a little odd. I’m certainly not wandering or feeling lost, as I still am going through things as I normally would and have improvements to make etc. It just does feel somewhat odd and surreal to not have that ONE BIG goal that my eyes are set on.
I’m taking my time reverse dieting so that my health is on par, keeping my long-term health and love of fitness in mind and looking forward to a little more balance in the coming months. I’ve mentally had my focus on prep for 2 years so mentally it’s just so strange to not be in a prep mode. I kind of don’t know what to do with myself as far as goals and mental focus goes! Haha!
I have some pondering to do as I reverse, grow and balance. I just was asked today even when my next competition is and I said I wasn’t sure yet. I imagine 2017, but I don’t have any in mind or any dates set. I only know I would like to continue to re-qualify for nationals, and do 2-3 shows close together. I don’t have specific ones in mind, I don’t know dates. And heck, all of those things I just said I may feel different about in 4 months! :)
Anyway, on to the point of this post: as I have been reflecting, one word keeps coming to mind. Resilient.
I think if someone could describe me in one word after my time on earth is done, I would want it to be resilient.
I know I haven’t had the hardest life, when you look at the tragedies and injustices people face every day, comparatively I have life easy! But when I look back over the years and the things I have walked through, endured and learned from I wonder how I am still standing and have a positive outlook on life.
I am 27 and yet I know I have overcome things people twice my age haven’t endured. I haven’t let the challenges, defeat, discouragement, depression, tears, despair etc keep me from rising strong. Things didn’t always go as I planned, but they have all turned out for the better.
My fitness journey for instance has been one of determination and resilience. I started with my first gym membership walking in with immense fear. It was entirely new territory for me! I knew myself well enough to know I am competitive and serious. I refuse to quit. So I committed myself to 3 days a week.
Little did I know I would fall in love with fitness and transform every aspect of my life! I had never heard of the NPC or the bikini division. I would have laughed if you told me I would compete and be nationally qualified!
I chased this dream for YEARS! I never gave up. I failed, I fell down. But I always got back up and kept going! Even if it was slow!!!
Then just this prep I had a lot of body fat to lose. I endured surgery on my foot with a few weeks of zero cardio and lower body work. (The scar still feels like a pebble in my shoe when running!) I endured a terrible sinus infection which had me recovering for 9 days out of the gym and on antibiotics. I sucked it up on meal plans for a bit while eating fish every day (and I absolutely HATE fish!)
I didn’t sail through. I worked my ass off to get to the stage. I had some moments of tears on the treadmill or hanger tantrums. But I kept the course. I wanted it and I did everything in my control to get there.
I don’t say this to flaunt or gloat or for pity. I say this because I think we all should have a word we want to have be what people think of when they think of us. A descriptive word that we sort of live our lives by. I want to be intentional to pursue resiliency in all areas of my life.
Perhaps that will be a word I end up tattooing somewhere…..